He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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