can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
