If i come over, it means nothing
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize