oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
wow bdsm is so cute
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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