Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
