take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
