At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize