pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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