we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
