Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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