You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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