Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
