I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
