You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
