i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
