whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize