I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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