I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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