Don't you send me to vm
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
