Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
