The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
