can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
