I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize