David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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