I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
