PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize