Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
