Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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