I think im going to throw up on grandma
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
