dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
