u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
