i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
