sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
