Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize