He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
