He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
