just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my being single is dangerous.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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