I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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