He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
