She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
