Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
