i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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