Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
