I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
