Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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