i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
