Im at strip club and am horny
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
