Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize