good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
