I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Life is so much better after having sex.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
