i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
