Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
