Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
