I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
