Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
