Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
