I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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