I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
