Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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